We are now accepting referrals for RESET by Thrivology — evidence-based CBT-I sleep therapy.
3 Cs for Inner Conflict
When different parts of you want different things
Sometimes you know exactly what you want to do, but another part of you seems to want the complete opposite.
One way to understand this is through multiplicity of the mind: the idea that we can have different parts of us, each carrying their own needs, fears, beliefs, and ideas about what’s best.
Those parts don’t always agree.
The 3 C’s are a simple way to slow down that inner conflict, understand what’s actually going on, and choose how you want to respond.
1. Catch It
Notice the conflict.
Instead of holding everything together as one tangled thought,
try separating out different parts:
"A part of me wants this, and another part of me wants something else."
That small shift can create just enough distance to see what’s happening more clearly, without immediately judging yourself for it.
2. Get Curious
Understand each part
Rather than deciding which part is right or wrong, get curious about where each one is coming from.
Ask each part:
"How are you trying to help me?"
Parts are here to take care of us. They may be trying to:
-
Protect you from pain
-
Keep you safe
-
Meet a need
-
Move you toward something that matters.
You don’t have to agree with what the part wants or their methods. The goal is simply to understand why it’s shown up.
3. Choose
Choose together.
Like in any important relationship, the answer usually isn’t for one side to win and the other to shut up.
Ask yourself:
-
What does each part need?
-
What matters most in the bigger picture?
-
How can I respect both parts in the way I respond?
The point isn’t which part wins. It’s getting out of the fight with yourself, so you can choose how you wanna respond.
Try it for yourself
The next time you notice yourself getting stuck in a back-and-forth, pause and ask:
-
catch it — what are the different parts of me saying?
-
get curious — how is each part trying to help me?
-
choose — given the bigger picture, how do I want to respond?
You don’t have to figure everything out at once. Sometimes even a small moment of understanding can bring more inner peace.
Want to go deeper?
Watch the full video to learn more about multiplicity of the mind and how to use the 3 Cs when you feel like you’re fighting yourself.